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The Dating-Game: Rules For Fixing Up Friends

We all know how great it feels to find the mate of your dreams and sharing your life and all its special moments with someone special that we can’t wait to share our good news and our good "fortune" with others. In fact, we can't wait for all our friends to share in the same happiness we've found and frequently can't help playing the "Good Samaritan" or should I say Cupid. But playing matchmaker for someone or someones you care about can be a risky challenge, especially if things don't work out (as planned).

1. Define Your Motives: Ask yourself "why" you want to set the couple up. Do you really think they’d be a good match or is it that you want to keep your girlfriend around for company (but she doesn't feel comfortable as the "third wheel") or that you secretly have an attraction to the guy/gal and want a convenient way of keeping them frequently hanging around.

2. Use Their Judgment NOT (necessarily) Yours: Before introducing your two associates or friends, put yourself inside their minds and shoes. Determine beforehand and before getting either of their hopes up if THEY will feel they are compatible. Do they like the same things, do you think they'll be physically attracted to one another, do they have the same set of ethics or sense of humor. While nothing is "perfect", you should at least get a good sense about their compatibility.

3. Keep Some Things To Yourself: Allow for some "intrigue" and "mystery" and eliminate any potential for "negativity". While it's important to be specific about some things, like the fact that your friend is a vegetarian or that he's short and has an earring, there's no need to reveal intimate details that may damage their chances before they have a chance to meet.

4. Offer Your Support: Whether you suggest hosting a dinner or having you and your date or mate join then to ease the tension and break the ice, let each know you are there "IF" they want you to be. But, if they are more comfortable on their own, respect their wishes. Remember, your enthusiasm combined with your presence may only serve to make the situation more tense and awkward.

5. Call It A Night: If you "do" join your friends and things (seem) to be going well, know that after dinner is your cue to leave. After all, three can be a crowd. And, remember, once you do your part let "nature" takes it's course, so avoid acting as the go-between.

6. Be Prepared: Chances are you are more excited about this than either of your friends. In fact, unless they already know and have hinted at liking each other, they are entering the date with caution and trepidation. Expect things NOT to work out, and if they do you'll be in for a pleasant surprise. And, don't forget to NOT let this affect your efforts or your relationship with either of them.


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