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Phil Amoa’s Doctrine On Relationships (PADOR)
This doctrine establishes factors that if not carefully monitored will potentially lead to the destabilization of any relationship. Relationships are a bond which could be unconscious or conscious between anything or anyone including with yourself. Experience has shown that people are clueless as to what role they are to play in relationships. This article will focus on a man-woman relationship. It is everywhere you go; people crying because they have been hurt in relationships or because they are unaware of their role. The Doctrine which is presented in this text will highlight certain factors one ought to at least consider before, during and after a relationship.
People enter relationships for different reasons and sometimes these contradicting reasons are the major cause for break-ups, heartache and unhealthy lifestyles. If one person is just in for fun while the other is looking for something serious then there are bound to be arguments because one partner feels that they are putting in more into the relationship. The first factor is Communication which is the most important aspect of any relationship because you can’t read every detail in your partner’s mind, unless of course you are psychic. The ability to communicate effectively and efficiently can be learnt. What you need to know before you start any relationship is why you desire to be in it.
If it is because you are in love, then it is probably a good enough reason, but does your future partner feel the same way? The failure to communicate why both parties are entering a relationship will only cause problems and thus lead to heartache and eventually break-up. If your partner is in just for the short term, then you are taking a risk of putting your all. Communication will always put you on the same level with your partner; it should be exercised consistently and effectively. The PADOR considers “Have a life” an important factor. Having a life in a relationship may be tough or completely impossible when you live for the relationship and not for yourself. Living for yourself would mean that you can be happy alone and with someone else. Needing someone, feeling lonely are wrong reasons to be in a relationship because once you go into a relationship needing your partner; you become the undeniably weak link of the relationship. Also, if you decide to pursue a relationship because you are lonely, then ask yourself if you can “have a life”? When your partner doesn’t make that daily-night call, you feel left alone and anger gradually builds up inside of you. You become too needy that you fail to realize they also have a life to live. Critics of this doctrine may claim that Trust should be the first most important aspect or factor of any relationship.
I agree of its importance but it is, however, not the most significant. Trust is built overtime and with candidness. In order for one to build trust, you must be able to communicate with your partner exactly what your wants and needs are and why you wanted to be with him/her. When the trust you have invested in him/her proves futile; it will pain and that is why it is important to “have a life” because the relationship you have with yourself would support you. This doctrine has no cure for emotional problems because they can’t be solved by logic. This text also does not guarantee anything; it is just a guide to keep you constantly thinking each step of the way.